Carrie’s Lessons of Love

Carrie Bradshaw and Mr. Big from Sex and the City | Getty Images

The first time I ever felt like a woman was when I first watched Sex and the City. I saw these four glamorous women on my screen living in a world that felt so close to mine. Especially Carrie…- my God, she was so unbelievably chic. Her wild hair, witty comments and killer wardrobe made her a force to be reckoned with. A force that was in fact wrecked as soon as that soul sucking man appeared…Mr. Big.

Even now that dreaded name sends a shiver down my spine. What was it about this man that just drove Carrie near the brink of insanity? Now, I am not here to bash Carrie for her actions. No, that has all been done before. Perhaps we would like to think that we are all self righteous enough to pass down judgment on someone equally as flawed as us. There is no right or wrong way to perceive Carrie's character, but the ways I have seen her described online make her out to be the damn anti-Christ. However, that doesn’t take away from the fact that I, too,find her insufferable.

John James Preston and Sarah Jessica Parker on location for 'And Just Like That' | Getty Images

If I had watched this show any younger than I had, I am sure that I too would have hated Carrie. The way she always ran back to a man who had no issue leaving her time and time again still makes me want to scream at my screen. I couldn’t stand every time she knocked on his door with her ridiculous antics, so willing to make herself the fool. I didn’t understand why people would act in such outlandish, unflattering ways in situations that were almost laughable. Laughable until I found myself in them as well. As much as I hate to say it, I understand Carrie more than I would like to. 

And I couldn’t help but wonder…do we all have a little bit of Carrie in us?

I am not so convinced that Carrie was male centered as many fans like to suggest. I  like to think of her as Mr. Big centered, more than anything else. He was this larger than life force that turned an independent woman's life completely upside down. Just like Carrie, at times we find ourselves an unwilling devotee, down on our knees praying to catch a momentary taste of heaven. Desperately clinging onto a God who will not listen to us serves as a reflection of the lengths many go through in the name of love. A word that is used often, but not so often used right. 

Sarah Jessica Parker and Chris Noth star in "Sex And The City" | Getty Images

In Carrie’s defense, how dead can the horse be if it brings itself back to life to make out with you just to kill itself all over again? Seeing an endless cycle of not knowing and never changing illuminated on a screen back to me enlisted something fearful. Caught in the illusion of change that will never come from someone you just cannot seem to escape; almost sounds like something out of a horror movie. A horror movie that many of us know all too well, whether we would like to admit it or not. It wasn’t always about Mr. Big. There are the people in between… but then there is just that one person who has you wrapped around their finger, no matter what. I think Carrie depicts a realistic representation of how many women react in these types of situations, as ugly as it is.

She frustrated me so much because I saw myself in her, and I hated it. Concealed within the nights that are just so wrong they start to feel so very right. In the way moments slowly intoxicate our better judgement as familiarity embraces us with its false safety, we are stuck once again. We hate Carrie because we have been her. Love was this great big thing that was as awful as it was amazing. It makes us insecure, pathetic, bad friends, needy, selfish, and just flat out crazy! Yet- it is all that we want- it is all we crave. I can only be as harsh on Carrie as I am to myself. Carrie serves as a reflection. Out of all the things to make fools out of ourselves, I think love serves as the most beautiful act of foolishness. 

There was a Carrie before Mr. Big and a Carrie after him. In the chase for love it is almost as if he permanently altered her personality which leads me to believe that she serves more as a cautionary tale than a hopeful love story. I, too, am the eternal optimist, as Carrie put it. However, at what point does being so full of optimism turn into being completely and utterly pathetic?

Strike Out,

Melanie Torres

Miami

Melanie Torres is a writer going into her third issue with Strike Magazine Miami. She is currently studying English at Florida International University with a passion for everything whimsical. In true Gemini fashion, she is fascinated with the world around her and can be found outside photosynthesizing on a warm day. If you're interested in finding her to talk about all things film, you can reach her through Instagram @not.ur.m4nic.pixie