I Have Something Embarrassing to Tell You
Male-centered this, boyfriendified that, our current social media climate is infatuated with the idea that a woman cannot have a romantic relationship and still be a person. Honestly, it’s obsessed with weighing in on women’s personal lives in general. Women face scrutiny in all aspects of life, whether it be hobbies, clothing, or now relationships; it feels as if we are never allowed a break. It’s embarrassing as a woman to post your boyfriend, but then it’s worse to be single. When this parasocial attachment to a beautiful, seemingly single, micro-influencer prompts you to unfollow her at the first sign she’s taken, maybe you’re the problem.
In British Vogue’s opinion piece titled, “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?” the concept of the social mediafication of relationships is explored. Instead of fully launching relationships on their own timeline, it has become popular for women to showcase their partners subtly. This is most likely linked to this new age ideal, that to be taken as a woman is somehow dehumanizing. From TikTok comments proclaiming, “I hope they break up,” to “Why does it feel Republican to be in a relationship,” this idea of embarrassment is perpetuated. Women should not feel guilty about sharing their relationships with their followers, but most of them do. Almost as if a taken woman has somehow slighted her fellow female comrades and fallen victim to the enemy.
While the concept of being free from the male gaze or society’s patriarchal views towards women is obviously a good thing, being separate from this can coexist with being in a relationship. To maintain the narrative that women are incapable of achieving a healthy balance is rooted in the misogyny that men should hold prestige in our lives. Reinforcing this idea of traditional roles within heteronormative relationships, that women's sole focus should be on their man.
Why is it that a man is celebrated for the bare minimum post of his girlfriend of five years, but the second a woman has two posts of her boyfriend, suddenly she’s making it her whole personality? This societal need to encapsulate women and put them into stereotypical boxes manifests itself through any means one can reach women. Social media has capitalized on this sentiment by constantly making assumptions about how a woman is solely off their media presence. If you post all about your boyfriend, you’re boy crazy; if you post all about a new media craze, you’re basic. There is no safe space on the internet for women when there is a constant discussion over every minute detail surrounding them.
Where does this leave us? It can feel overwhelming as a woman in the modern age to navigate social media and relationships when it feels as if we can do nothing. Yet, I say if being a woman is naturally embarrassing, embrace it. Post your boyfriend, share your hobby, do whatever you want. Most likely, those who are going to judge you for it already have, so why shape your self-perception around it? Be embarrassing because, as Sky Ferreira said, everything already is.
Strike Out,
Emma Chambers, Writer
Strike Magazine Chattanooga