A Guy’s Guide to watching “Chick Flicks”

There's nothing quite like leaving the world behind for an hour or so to watch some corny, ridiculous romantic comedy that ends in a prom queen’s speech and an ecstatic closing frame. The best kind of detox from a long day—until that closing frame fades to a pitch-black TV screen reflecting an unshowered, popcorn-devouring, lazy lump on the couch. Oh shit, is that me? 

I grew up completely obsessed with what some may label as “chick flicks” or, in nastier terms, “sappy fluff.” To me, however, these movies are anything but. “Mean Girls,” “Legally Blonde,” “Sixteen Candles,” “Clueless” — anything with a bold female protagonist and a quirky backstory. They were the ideal mix of campy fun, tear-jerking final monologues and epic romantic conclusions. It took me until adolescence to realize that this was not the standard for pre-pubescent teen boys. 

See, I experienced the phenomenon known as growing up gay. As the token boy in a sea of girls, I didn't have many guy friends, so I absorbed the environment around me. All of my parents' family friends seemed to exclusively produce daughters, so our group of cousins was four girls and me. Later in life, high school friendships followed the same pattern: my inner circle was basically a sisterhood coven, and I was the odd warlord tagging along. So, while boys my age were out playing soccer and running two mans, I was at home watching “To All the Boys I've Loved Before” and practicing my love letter writing skills. 

I've changed a lot since then; I've become much more pessimistic and boyish in general, but I will still always return to these feel-good flicks and suspend disbelief while I'm watching. I can pretend that yes, true love exists, fairy tales can come true and that the worst problems in life really are solved by a magical pair of jeans that fits you and all your girlfriends (“Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants” style).

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As a kid, I could always feel an internal battle between the male and female archetypes when it came to culture and media. It would be much too shameful to admit to a guy that I loved watching “Gilmore Girls” before school, and I could never admit to a girl that I thought spending that much money on lip oil was outrageous. However, my female friends tended to be more diverse, each with their own style and interests—which made it easier for me to connect with them through shared hobbies. Their aesthetics and passions had nothing to do with gender. The guys I met, on the other hand, would typically blur together in a haze of male stereotypes. At least that was my perception growing up in the suburbs, where the mindset often felt small and the sameness unavoidable.

Now that I'm much more comfortable expressing both my femininity and masculinity, I have recognized that both sides of my internal battle had valid arguments. It more comes down to individual preference rather than gender. I came across a three-generational study which found that 67% of the women surveyed reported being tomboys during childhood. This led me to wonder: why is it that, on average, straight women seem more comfortable embracing a tomboyish aesthetic, while most straight men would rather be drawn and quartered than wear blush or concealer?

The truth? Toxic masculinity and the demonization of queer men in society, but that answer is no fun whatsoever. Instead, my research started small. I would convince my older brother to watch a “corny chick flick” with me. I was, of course, met with protest, but eventually I was able to get “13 Going on 30” playing on our living room TV, and he was instantly hooked. He’ll deny this all he wants, but there's something freeing about indulging in femininity as a man. It’s like whispering a secret into an empty room, the act itself is liberating.

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A guy's first time watching a “chick flick” is almost like a baptism, a first step into this religion of glitter glue and girlhood. That feeling is like lightning in a bottle—it can only happen once, and from that point forward, everything changes.

Well, maybe that is a little exaggerated. But, that's the kind of drama and fantasy these movies can encourage. My observations have shown me that exposure to girlhood as a man can have immensely rewarding results. Through this, I believe I have developed three master steps for the proper ways in which we must indulge in “chick flicks.”

Step #1: Accepting that femininity isn't gay—and neither are bad things!

I have the pleasure of sharing an apartment with three straight male roommates this year. I didn't know them prior to moving in, but they have since quickly become my brothers. Through bar-hopping, snack runs and game nights, we have become inseparable. I was anxious about meeting them going in, and the strangest part was, they didn't immediately guess I gay. For the first time in my life,  I have been meeting guys and girls alike who are surprised to discover my sexuality. 

Queer people come in all shapes and sizes. The stereotype that all queer men are feminine or posh is not only offensive—it's just plain wrong. When it comes to tapping into your feminine side, just accept it. Femininity shouldn't be something you fight or fear, and it's definitely not something that will define you as a person. Women have been comfortable embracing aesthetics of the opposite sex for decades, and honestly so have men, just not in western culture. Think of the Scotsmen who proudly adorn their kilts, or Europeans who sit with their legs crossed in expensive Parisian cafes. 

If, as a man, you are exhausted of the societal pressure to present a certain way, find your freedom through getting in touch with your feminine side. Start small, maybe with a pink polo or 70’s style bell bottom jeans. Experimenting with one's style and appearance is not only rewarding, it's thrilling.

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Step #2: Absorb the lessons feminine media has to offer. 

It is typical our society denounces feminine media as nothing but brainless mush, content designed to rot the minds of young girls and encourage romance over all else. Yet, that couldn't be further from the truth. Shows such as “My Little Pony” and “Monster High” are adored by a majority female audience and they encourage young women to embrace their differences, strive for justice and question authority. The lessons these shows teach young audiences stay with them for life, and for that reason they are still wildly celebrated today.

Once you look past the pink and the glitter, an inspirational story of perseverance and individuality can be uncovered. Labeling something as “dumb” simply because it is tailored to a young female audience is both inherently sexist and incredibly constraining. Stereotypes around femininity have kept male audiences from enjoying these shows for decades. While there are similar shows tailored for young boys, this excessive gendering of mostly everything and anything in our culture has stunted the creativity and individuality of us as human beings. Who decided that pink was a “girl color” anyway, and why are men frowned upon for enjoying pop music now and again? 

In fact, according to a 1918 article in The Ladies’ Home Journal, just a century ago pink was considered masculine in Western cultures—with blue for girls. However, mid-20th-century marketing reversed these associations. Modern culture has changed as a result of stereotypes painting men as weak for liking "feminine" things.

These stereotypes are in place to weaponize gender against us; break free from these restrictive rules and celebrate the fact that you are so much more than a gender. 

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Step #3: Authentically tap into your feminine side to unlock your full dating potential.

In the nonchalant apocalypse of today’s dating world, the last thing anyone wants is another copy-and-paste guy. A hoodie-wearing blend of casual ambition, easygoing detachment and everyday predictability that’s equal parts comfortable and forgettable. Sure, you can always visually stand out through fashion. But, from my own experience talking with female friends, what really matters is creating a space where women feel comfortable being themselves. Since I’ve always leaned into a more feminine environment, I’ve noticed that girls open up around me in ways they don’t with other guys. Listening, sympathizing and genuinely caring about their interests goes much further than any performative attempt at being “different.” That doesn’t mean presentations or aesthetics don’t matter—style is still a form of self-expression and a means of originality and feeling confident. Instead of thinking of it as showing off to get attention, think of fashion as a way to be authentic and unafraid to step outside rigid societal norms. 

That part of yourself you've kept obscured for so long could truly be the key to meeting your other half. The last thing you want to do is hold yourself back from your full potential. 

I’m not asking you to put on a pair of high heels and wear lipstick. By simply exploring your emotional side or appreciating the beauty of simple things around you, not only will you be happier, but you’ll attract other like-minded people. Leave the toxic masculinity you were raised on behind, soak up the feel-good wisdom that “chick flicks” so effortlessly deliver and embrace the possibility that you too can blossom into something beautiful—attracting others as a byproduct of being completely yourself.

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If you take away nothing from this article, just remember: 

I am not constrained by my gender. 

By seeing yourself through a new, more universal and unconventional lens, the sky will become the limit. It's not easy to embrace femininity as a man, and it's even harder to unlearn the expectations placed on us by society. However, it is worth it to fully understand and explore who we are and who we could become outside of gender norms. I urge you to simply watch a “chick flick” tonight, and then reflect on it. What is the lesson the protagonist learned along the way, who was your favorite character, did it make you feel more hopeful or happy? If you enjoyed it, cherish that. Tell a friend about how much you liked it. Growth demands new forms of self-expression—so why not paint it all a little pink?

Strike out,

Writer: Gabriel Gonzalez Marino
Editor: Olivia Evans

Gabriel Gonzalez Marino is known for two things: his taste for bad poetry and his undying love of Garfield the cat. When he’s not thrifting like it’s an Olympic sport, you can probably find him journaling his latest existential crisis or sobbing through a cheesy rom-com with ice cream at the ready. He also enjoys wandering aimlessly around Gainesville in the hopes that inspiration will finally hit (it hasn’t yet). Send him funny videos, rom-com recs, or writing tips through email at gabrielgonzalezmarino74@gmail.com or Instagram @gabrgonz