On being present as an act of self-love
Photo Courtesy/Anna Kadet
As an avid hot yoga girl, I've been to the studio more times than I can count. Since I was first indoctrinated into the practice in high school, I have claimed incessantly that yoga “clears the mind” and “provides a break from real life.”
Well, the truth is, I lied — and I am more than sure I’m not the only one. The truth: I come for the workout, the sweat and its release, to move my body and to feel a sense of accomplishment when I walk out the door. I memorize each vinyasa in preparation for the following sequence; I forget my breath, and I wonder while peering through my downward dog if the instructor will call for the flow one more time on each side before we get the long-awaited cold eucalyptus towel.
These aren’t by any means the wrong reasons to practice yoga. However, they don’t feel right either.
I spent my first summer in Athens this year, largely because my fear of senior year meant I needed a little more time in this special place we Bulldogs call home. Various videos urging incoming seniors to “say yes to everything” and “soak it up because it’ll be gone in the blink of an eye” consumed me. I held my breath in the late summer heat.
Photo Courtesy/Anna Kadet
As August treacherously tipped into September, another canon event captivated my mind with worry: What am I going to do with my life? Texts from my parents, questions from everyone around me: “Are you applying to graduate school?” I started applications only to leave them as open tabs on my laptop.
This contradictory rhetoric is not unique to the experience of a graduating senior. It is something we all feel at one time or another: the future banging on the present’s door.
It often feels impossible to really “be present” with so much coming at us at one time. Everyone has an opinion. We cannot stop time. The hamster wheel will keep spinning, and the world will keep turning.
So how do we truly stay in the present? What does living tangibly look like?
I am still trying to answer those questions myself. What I have learned is that it is not a switch that you can flip. Rather, to live each day as it comes is a discipline. A mindfulness of thoughts, a daily practice. A hard-earned habit that requires work.
Being where your feet are is not ignoring what’s to come, nor is it shirking responsibility. It is compartmentalizing the inner monologue from the future and learning how to open, shut and even crack that door.
When you build that habit, the result is an uncanny relief.
I go to unheated yoga classes more often than not now. I listen to my body, inhale and exhale with intention, and say “That went by so fast!” when it’s over.
Photo Courtesy/Anna Kadet
Committing to this practice allows you to feel your emotions rather than intellectualize them. It offers all kinds of moments that teach you lessons on their terms, not yours. I argue this is a great act of self-love: letting your life (hands off the wheel) unfurl before you beautifully – the mountains, valleys and rivers of it all.
Make friends with uncertainty and shake hands with the unknown.
Perhaps, in a world that asks us to exist, living is the resistance we need.
Strike Out,
Anna Kadet
Editor: Meghan Bosman
Athens