Stand By Me ‘Til The Black Dog Leaves
A new study shows that loneliness is as deadly as smoking– quite the opener, but it’s true. Despite all of the smoking ads, warnings on cigarette packs, and soap in your mouth when you got caught by your parents with a cheeky light on the porch, loneliness has better odds of meeting you with demise. There are no warnings for that, though. Perhaps your parents heeded to replace your imaginary friend with a real one, but there were no national campaigns to fight this silent disease. Why? Because it is far more psychological than the mere retirement of cigarettes, it is more shocking and deeper than most people dare to go: the problem and solution are both found in the depths of our minds.
But what else do we bury there? More than the skeletons in our closets.
Depression– sure, but an often-overlooked cause of such is ADHD. A sly and unassuming disorder that masquerades as hyperactivity or an inability to focus is really the root of something that looms over our everyday lives. “The prevalence of depression among ADHD patients ranges from 18.6% to 53.3%”. As stated by the National Institutes of Health (NIH)
It forms a pipeline that has only recently come into the limelight of psychological research.
Loneliness to Depression to ADHD to Depression to Loneliness to ADHD to Loneliness. Following?
They all work in tandem with the other; to alleviate one is to alleviate all. More specifically, targeting ADHD first and foremost.
Now I know the statistics might cost my readers’ attention, but please, stay with me.
How do we do this? How do we target ADHD at its core? I would like to introduce you to ‘body doubling’. A term coined by Linda Anderson, MA, MCC, SCAC in 1996, has revolutionized holistic, external approaches to subduing mental health disorders.
It is the idea that through the mere presence of another ‘body’, one is more likely to be productive and participate in their own life. Healthy external pressure? Having eyes on you? Or maybe just comfortable company– can this really enhance focus? Science says, “Yes!”.
People report that someone just being there provided the encouragement needed to just get started, which, for most, is the hardest part of doing literally anything.
In some of your lowest times, when ADHD/depression symptoms are most agitated, a simple phone call can help you get out of bed, cook dinner, or simply start the task that’s been gnawing at you. So yes, the ‘body-doubling’ phenomenon does transcend beyond the physical. It can also help you settle the game you play with your vices. Having someone there to be a catalyst towards your productivity can sedate the voices that yell so loudly for ‘just one more ___.”
A sense of belonging and personhood is not just a requisite of someone with ADHD, of course. It is a basic human need, as detailed in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Having a ‘body double’ cultivates a sense of soft accountability that can only be found when someone else is watching– when eyes are on you. On days that you can’t seem to escape the spiral or negative self-talk, there is respite in phoning a friend, in community, in not being alone.
Loneliness is often a choice, brought on by self-isolation, which, if you'd so kindly refer back to the pipeline, is sometimes an effect of depression or ADHD. Mental health is a curated and difficult construct to navigate, but everyone is affected by it– whether you are mentally ‘healthy’ or not.
The point is, people need people; hands need hands to hold, eyes need a gaze to lock, and sometimes a shadow just needs one to stand there with it— just until the black dog leaves. Not because we’re innately co-dependent, but because loneliness can be deadly, yet so easily remedied.
Strike Out,
Rosemary Aziz
Boca Raton
Rosemary Aziz is a Content Writer for Strike Magazine Boca. A health and wellness junkie who finds leisure in writing, all things coffee, and observing the human condition– but people-watching is better with friends. Or in her next article. You can reach her by email at r.m.aziz0204@gmail.com or on Instagram @rosemary.aziz.
Cover Image Courtesy: Getty Images
