Power Ranking the Worst Ways to be Left on Read

Phot Courtesy of Instagram

Being ignored is not a new phenomenon — historians will tell you that silence has been weaponized for centuries, long before the text message came into existence. A neanderthal lobs a rock at someone across the fire - the target stares into the flames and grunts at someone else. An Egyptian scribe spends days chiseling a love poem into stone — just for it to be brutally repurposed as some Pharoah’s tomb décor. Galileo dares to write the Pope a letter — he’s imprisoned for having the audacity. The tragedies are endless. 

Today, the arena has changed, but the suffering hasn’t. If anything, it may even be worse.

Not all “reads” are created equal - and out of respect for today’s dating culture (and for anyone who’s ever risked it all on the ominous three-dots) - I present my definitive ranking of the worst ways to be left on read.

Worst: The Great Wall of Text

If you’re unfamiliar with this one, god bless you. It’s character building. For whatever reason, you’ve decided that a monologue of text is necessary for the situation. Perhaps they’ve asked you a question which you felt required background. Or, they’ve made you feel like this is a safe space for you to share your life’s story, so of course you’re going to tell them all of it because it can’t be summarized in a sentence or two (for future reference — it can). Or, my favorite, they’ve done you wrong somehow and are acting aloof about it, and it’s your time to explain in great detail just what they did, why it was wrong, and why they should be sorry. Whatever you pick, the result is you writing and sending a sonnet you’re sure will lead to open dialogue. 

Only, they don’t respond. 

Your outpouring is met with silence. Did they open it by mistake and forget to come back to it? Did they read it and not agree with it? Did they just see a wall of text and decide “nope”? Whatever it may be, the result is the same — shame, horror, and humiliation. Now they must think you’re doing too much, right? You should’ve never sent it. Two paths from here: you’ll either learn from this experience and never, ever share this much with one person ever again, or, if you’ve got a thing for trauma porn, you’ll write many more paragraphs to many more undeserving individuals  who will never write you paragraphs back. Choose your fighter.

Delivered vs. Read

There are very few instances where “read” feels like mercy - and Snapchat is one of them. On a platform where mystery doesn’t exist, where “delivered”, “received”, and “opened” taunt you in real time, being left on “delivered” is a crueler fate.

Being left on “read” on platforms like Snapchat where you can’t safely preview notifications at least implies some curiosity. They looked, they can’t undo it. But being left on delivered is a blow to the ego. It says: “this guy doesn’t even care what you had to say”. They’re not interested at all. A big thing with Snapchat is that, because you cannot preview the message, I am always curious when I get a notification. It could be anything. ANYTHING. I’ll open it because, like Elsa, the unknown calls to me. So when even that doesn’t intrigue me enough to at least just open the message, whatever “relationship” we had is well and truly over.

Double Text

One unanswered text is survivable (most of the time). A double text, on the other hand, is you saying “I saw your silence, and I raise you my dignity.”  How do you come back from that? It’s confirmation that the conversation has ended, and you just missed the signals. Be cool next time — if they wanted to respond, they would.

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Best: The Declaration of Love

If you’re anything like me, you probably forgot that read receipts still existed on iMessage. But yes, they do. They sting particularly when you’ve sent something that absolutely requires a response, something like a confession, something like “I love you”. 

Photo Courtesy of X

You know they’ve seen it, and they know you know they’ve seen it. The shame is only reinforced by the fact that they’ve ignored it. Where does one go from here? Are they going to text you back eventually? Will they change the subject? If they do change the subject, do you play along to save face, or out of respect for the version of you that confessed their feelings, do you ignore the person who ignored you, too? I want to hope you’d be brave enough to respect yourself, but if you’re confessing your feelings via text in the first place you’re probably just going to go along for the ride.

Perhaps this one is the least painful to me because, despite it all, you've remained true to yourself and your heart. In the movie He's Just Not That Into You, Gigi said “I may do a lot of stupid shit, but I’m still a lot closer to love than you are.” I would much rather suffer the pain of an unanswered message, than from the regret of never having sent it in the first place. In the grand scheme of life and love, finding something great is at the top of my list.

For anybody re-reading old texts wondering where you went wrong, I hope you find comfort in the fact that a lot of us (or, at the very least, me) know what you’re going through. Realize that most of the time someone’s actions (or, in this case, inaction) have very little to do with you as a person. It’s just the way of dating these days. And if you didn’t relate to any of these — congratulations, you’re probably the villain.

Strike Out,
Writer: Lungelo Mnisi
Editor: Ria Pai

Lulu is a writer for Strike Magazine GNV. Her work is best read at the end of a fun night out, blurry-eyed, listening to boygenius, believing life is beautiful after all. When she’s not writing stories about evil women, she’s out living them. You can reach her at lulumnisi41@gmail.com