What Dating Shows Taught Me

As a little girl, I always dreamt of having my fairy tale romance, with a Prince Charming, effortless love, and a happily ever after. The Hallmark movies and Disney Channel shows surely fed into my delusions, with characters like Troy Bolton or Seth Anderson, who pined for the lead female character. In my ten-year-old mind, it seemed perfectly normal to expect a guy to break out into song professing his love for a girl he barely even knew. I assumed the standard was some crazy, drawn-out love story where the perfect guy and perfect girl overcome all odds to end up together. Come to find out, my perception of romance was far from realistic.

As a kid, I was more focused on the fairy tale stories, Cinderella, The Holiday, and even Titanic. Although it ended gruesomely, it portrayed the type of romance I had always yearned for. Nowadays, my expectations have declined rapidly, especially when viewing popular dating shows and considering their effect on modern dating culture.

Two very popular dating shows are The Bachelor and Love Island. The Bachelor is a show where one man dates a multitude of women to find his partner. Love Island is a show where various men and women compete to couple up with each other, build connections, and win prize money. Although promoted to viewers as a chance to find real love, these shows have turned into massive games of popularity, fame, and money. In past seasons, these shows have allocated spots to regular everyday people for their once-in-a-lifetime chance. Now, influencers are getting on, not for a chance at love but a chance at fame.

For example, this past season of Love Island, Huda and Amaya already had a massive amount of followers on social media from content they had posted on YouTube and Instagram. Throughout the whole show, when Amaya gained popularity online and with viewers, the boys began to favor her, not out of love and respect, but for an advantage to stay on. At the end, when she and Brian won, he took advantage of his sudden popularity and reaped all the benefits, whether it hurt Amaya or not. When all the fame and glory had passed, he allegedly consistently went clubbing and spoke with multiple females, leading to the end of their “relationship” shortly after.

On another note, some shows show the beauty of what relationships should represent. For example, Abby and David from Love on the Spectrum give an amazing example of how sweet and romantic a relationship can be. It shows an amazing progression where both partners are in it for love, not fame. One part of the show showed how Abby took the time to write David a song about their relationship and performed it for him. Other parts show how David always takes time to point out the small details of what he appreciates in Abby. Another show called Love is Blind puts people in rooms where they cannot view each other. They must solely create a connection through conversation. If they progress, then they get engaged and have to either part ways or marry by the end of it. The purpose of this is to show how people can build romantic connections through emotional connection, over just physical.

I’ve heard countless times throughout my life that you are what you consume. The popularity of dating shows has, in many ways, shaped how people view dating today. It has gone from finding someone you truly love to finding someone who simply benefits you. Whether that benefit stems from hookups, popularity, financial gains, or the comfort of having someone without the title, it is not a healthy outlook on dating. When the media showcases dating multiple partners at once, sneaky intentions, and choosing people based on perceived benefit to you, it subconsciously sends a message to young viewers on what relationships and dating should be like, when that is not the case.

My perception shifted from fairy tales to doomsday when I realized that these shows, the games played, and the drama created, are unfortunately how many people act nowadays. But I also came to realize that dating shows that I had previously mentioned, like The Bachelor and Love Island, have editors who dramatize everything. They purposely create drama and exaggerate storylines for views, so in reality, it is not as bad as it seems. All in all, dating, which I once thought of as a fun and lighthearted experience, has left me with a bunch of questions, especially after observing how modern dating culture has altered since the popularity of these shows came out. However, I am grateful to say that little ten-year-old me still has hope. As long as portrayals of love like Abby and David’s are shown in this world, there is still hope for that happy ever after.

Strike Out,

Writer: Leanne Millikan

Editor: Elizabeth D’Amico

Graphic Designer:

Tallahassee

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