Truly, Nothing is Embarrassing
Image Courtesy: Pinterest
Embarrassment hits fast and burns deep. It’s that thing you said, that message you sent, that moment when you got too rowdy at the bar. It’s the moments you lie awake at night regretting, and the moments when your cheeks start to flush. It happens to everyone—we physically cringe at what we just did.
I sent that paragraph to him, asking if he still had feelings for me, laying my heart on the line. I saw the three dots come up and threw my phone across the room.
“Why did I do that? What is he going to think of me now?”
I was vulnerable, picking up my phone to check for a response. There was none. I had expressed all my feelings for him and was left in the cold. It was embarrassing, and I felt like I made a fool of myself. My heart raced at the sight of no response.
But here's the brutal truth: harmless slip-ups and spilling your feelings aren’t actually embarrassing unless you decide it is. He never responded, but I learned that I was brave enough to share how I felt, and being vulnerable isn’t a mistake or embarrassing. Quite frankly, the people around you don’t care as much as you think they do, if they even care at all. He obviously didn’t care that much, and that’s okay.
We’ve all been conditioned to notice how the people around us react to us. Do they laugh? Stare blankly? Smile? Stay silent? From a young age, we treat embarrassment as a social crime, but this stems from perception, not reality. In psychology, this is called the spotlight effect—the belief that other people are paying far more attention to us than they actually are. The truth is, everyone is already too busy worrying about themselves and their flaws to care about yours. The spotlight effect forms through lived experience as we grow increasingly aware of ourselves in social settings. From a young age, we start to notice how others react to us: a laugh, a glance, a comment, and we begin to connect those reactions to our own behavior. Over time, moments of embarrassment or judgment stick in our memory more than neutral ones, teaching us to expect scrutiny. As we live through school, friendships, and public situations, we internalize the feeling of being watched, even when others are focused on themselves. This repeated self-consciousness shapes the belief that our actions are under a constant spotlight. However, the moment you try to counter this and adopt the mindset that everyone messes up, everyone has sent that paragraph they shouldn't have sent, and everyone has fallen in public, embarrassment stops feeling like failure, and more like evidence you’re just human, you’re just like everyone else.
Think about Bridget Jones from Bridget Jones's Diary (2001). She comes off as a “hot mess” in the most human way possible. In one of the most iconic scenes, Bridget arrives at a canceled costume party dressed as a Playboy bunny girl. She's out of place, and everyone is staring and judging her. It’s inherently embarrassing, and throughout the movie, she says the wrong thing, trips over her words, and embarrasses herself over and over. Yet, that is why people love her. Her flaws make her real and relatable. We laugh with her, not at her, because deep down we can relate to her. We can see ourselves in her mistakes.
Image Courtesy: Pinterest
So why do we get embarrassed when we know that these things happen to every other human being? Embarrassment exists because the majority of us care. We care about having a sense of belonging, being liked, and doing the right thing. The Need to Belong Theory was proposed by Roy Baumeister and Mark Leary (1995). It says that humans have a fundamental drive to form and maintain positive, lasting interpersonal relationships. This need influences our emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. So we are wired to care, but that doesn’t mean we need to punish ourselves and obsess over an imperfection. Doing "embarrassing" things is a sign of life, not a sign of failure. Walking is something the majority of people do, but we don’t obsess over how we walk or how others walk. So why obsess over making a mistake when everyone else does too? The truth is, people don’t remember you for your failures; they remember your energy and character. Who you are as a person is not defined by stuttering or tripping; it’s just something that happens to everyone, and it really doesn't matter.
Image Courtesy: Pinterest
When you stop labeling things as embarrassing, you allow yourself to live freely—to be bold and to be yourself. You’ll begin to take risks: you’ll speak up, talk to that crush, dance badly at a party, sing a song at a karaoke bar, and then you’ll realize that freedom is truly not caring what others think of you. We’re all stumbling through the human experience, convincing ourselves that everyone has it figured out but us. They don’t. No one does. Fall, admit your feelings, say a cringey joke, and move on. You can’t be embarrassed if you realize that it happens to everyone and no one cares as much as you think they do. So truly, nothing is embarrassing. If it won’t matter in 48 hours, just don’t give it the time of day today.
Strike Out,
Writer: Parker Snaith
Editor: Salette Cambra
Graphic Designer: Ryan Hanak
Tallahassee