Beauty: Reimagining Imperfection
Many people have told me that to live a good life you cannot let yourself get too high or too low; that you need to find a stable median and walk that line every day. This kind of restraint in theory is supposed to cultivate the serenity in life we are all seeking. For me, the idea that we must remain at this constant emotional equilibrium is unrealistic, and it honestly sounds a little sad.
Rather than the goal being complete regulation of our mood so that it cannot swing, I think we should aim to find value in the valleys along with the peaks.
I recently have been writing home — and by writing home I mean blogging on Substack which has become my digitized diary — talking about all the roses of my week but never the thorns. That makes sense because who wants to take additional time out of their day to hear about the negatives considering most of our media consumption is already so doomsday? Also, maybe it is just me, but would sharing that stuff not shatter the perfect facade we want peoples’ opinions to latch onto?
However, I realized I am contributing to the culture of only sharing highlights and setting unrealistic “beauty” standards for others. Now, I recognize I am nowhere close to being an influencer, but I love my 34 followers dearly and want to keep it as real as possible for them. So why is it that I don’t share every part of my life? Why am I trying to emanate constant “beauty”?
Image Courtesy: Instagram
I think everyone, myself included, has this misconception of what beauty is. Beauty is not in the perfect life everyone tries to sell you online. It is not only found in the size of our smile or portrayal of radiance.
This sounds nauseatingly cliché as I type it, but it really is in being able to see good in spite of the bad. You might be going through a breakup, a loved one could be sick, maybe you just got fired, but rather than let the inevitable obstacles of life be all-consuming, you still celebrate the good parts – or at the very least elect to see them.
There is such beauty in that kind of resilience. It could be as simple as finding a way to turn around a bad day by doing something small for yourself. Or when your friends notice you’re a little off so they bring you your favorite coffee or sweet treat and it puts a smile on your face. Maybe your long distance family member somehow had the gut instinct to check in on a day where you needed some extra love. It is in picking yourself up to go do something – watch the sunset, clean your room, exercise, etc. – even when it feels impossible.
Self-care and patience might not be as glamorous as having a put together appearance, going on vacation, to a concert or out to a fancy dinner, but it is in these moments between those kinds of peaks that build the foundation for roses to flourish.
Most importantly, we do not need to make that a hushed part of our existence. Sharing these realities lets people know they are not strange for not having an entirely picturesque life, they are just human.
Image Courtesy: Instagram
Do you ever stop to think about how people pay $500+ for Golden Goose’s which are made to look already ‘lived in’? Or why vintage and distressed clothing are so popular? It is because pretty doesn’t always have to mean pristine.
The true beauty in life challenges our antiquated stereotypes. It is not being wrinkle free, it is wearing those creases proudly because how beautiful it is that you have lived long enough to develop them. It is waking up one day and realizing how great life is despite the fact that a year ago it felt helpless.
You want my opinion on beauty? Spend less time searching for it and focus on all that is right in front of you – including in the mirror.
My aunt has always said “the epiphany comes later.” As I write to you now, I think the epiphany is that life is not meant to be a decades-long quest for a beautiful ending. The beauty is in the fact that we’re living at all.
Strike Out,
Ruby McKeown
Editors: Amia King, Jessica Giraldo
Saint Augustine
Ruby McKeown is a writer for Strike Magazine, Saint Augustine. She has worked as a reporter with news outlets such as The New York Times and Tucson Sentinel. Additionally she has worked in Cambodia and Thailand with Oxfam International, International Rivers, and Khmer NGO for Education.
