How to Cope When Your Football Team Sucks
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A very smart man once said, “You haven't known the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of high school football” (Riverdale). I’d like to tell Archie to take it to the next level: college football. There’s nothing like a Florida State football game. Of course there's: battling in the masochistic lottery for a ticket, desperately combing Pinterest for the perfect game day outfit, and then dripping sweat at a horrendously dirty frat tailgate. I can’t think of a better way to spend my Saturday. When we stormed the field after absolutely crushing Alabama, my trauma from last season evaporated into thin air. We were free! No more face-palming in agony while our quarterback completely threw the game. Then came the infamous Virginia game. My boyfriend and I sat on my couch–faces in our hands–while we watched our team crumble under the pressure. When Virginia stormed their field in return, I knew it was over. The cherry on top was the Miami game. Walking back from Doak was pure torture. Every person in green and orange had me absolutely fuming.
But where does this deep sense of disappointment come from? I thought I didn’t care about a bunch of sweaty dudes jumping all over each other. Is it the unity that comes from the game? Is it the jumbo stadium hot dogs? Maybe it stems from this hypermasculinity that American football seems to evoke.
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Whatever it is, people have gotten a little too comfortable with this behavior at games. If I get through a football game without a drunken man falling on top of me, I consider myself very lucky. I’m surrounded by people pulling shooters out of their bags, yelling at a deafening level when we are on offense, and getting angry when anyone else sits down. I don’t think I’ll ever get over the fact that I am supposed to stand for the whole football game. Start to finish. Every time I experience this hell, it seems like everybody is in on some big secret, while I really don't get the big deal. But still…the idea of losing haunts me so deeply.
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I truly believe it is because of this competition of masculinity displayed on the field. The brutal, unrelenting violence. Violence has left so many players with serious health problems, mental and physical. At the base of it, I think Emma Seligman’s Bottoms (2023) does an excellent job of summing up my sentiments. A bunch of super tough guys, dressed up in padding and colorful jerseys, all put on a field and made to show off their physical strength. In my opinion, it ends up looking pretty campy. We sing the national anthem, they battle it out, some fireworks go off, and one team reigns victorious while the other is met with agonizing disappointment.
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It’s even worse when we are losing. I trudge home early from the stadium, my cute gameday outfit put to waste, and I walk with my head down. Honestly, I think it would go a lot better if we all decided to care less. As social media has gotten more prevalent, it seems like there’s a growing need for college gameday aesthetics. We plan our entire weekend around this one event, and for people like me who don’t even care about football to begin with, it ends up being so not worth it! Don’t give in to the uber-masculinity compelling you to feel this all-encompassing loss. Be like Archie and find the joys in the highs and lows of football.
Strike Out,
Writer: Abby Marshall
Editor: Isabelle Kim
Graphic Designer:
Tallahassee