One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

October has come to an end, which means the end of every college girl's favorite holiday: Halloween. There is a thrill of planning group costumes and knowing that come Halloween weekend, we will either have the worst or best time of our lives. Just as Cady Heron from Mean Girls once famously said, “In girl world, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it,”... except that isn’t entirely true now. 

Regina George in Mean Girls (2004) | Getty Images

While scrolling on TikTok, as a typical college girl does, I see a recurring trend. It consists of a young woman filming herself as the text reads something along the lines of, “Not going out on Halloween half naked because I am somebody's future wife.” Although most of the videos have been satirical, that doesn’t take away the fact that there truly are girls my age taking this stance seriously. As silly as it sounds, they are centering their lifestyle choices over a theoretical man they have yet to meet! This trend is a representation of the subtle changes that have been favoring purity culture. 

We have seen this shift through the rise of trad wives such as Nara Smith, the recent presidential election, and the glamorization of being “untouched.” With these trad wives donning their flattering dresses and perfectly clean kitchens as they perform their dutiful chores. It appears glamorous and chic having this lifestyle presented to young women in such a way. Through these videos,purity culture begins to slowly infiltrate, which seems so appealing due to its aesthetics. There is something that is deemed virtuous and holier than thou about this slow culture shift that has all been done before. 

Nara Smith and Lucky Blue Smith for Harper’s Bazaar | Getty Images

This willing isolation while putting other women down is nothing new. In fact we have seen it before with the “I’m not like other girls” trend. However, this time it feels a lot more prominent and embraced as opposed to titles such as “pick me girls.” The title of “purity” holds the connotation of cleanliness and wholesomeness while putting everything that isn’t deemed as “pure” to be seen as lesser and in some cases disgusting. I have heard women say, “I feel so clean being untouched.” And all I can say to the women seriously saying such words are: do you hear yourself? Sex is not dirty, this self virtuous culture has made a woman's sexuality something to be ashamed of. It is the one of the most intimate and vulnerable forms of connection we have as humans, yet we shame women for exploring such experiences.

We can argue that hookup culture is worse than purity culture, however that would completely dismiss how both are ultimately male centered- perverting our worth as women through our bodies and sexuality. And yes, it could be argued through choice feminism that choosing purity culture could be liberating for some women, but this ignores how it is inherently tied to misogyny and patriarchy. This is because it is a made up culture that has only, and will only ever apply to women. The standards at which we hold men to have never been as critical as the standard we hold women to. Whereas men get to express themselves in whichever way is most liberating to them, women simply cannot do the same without being shamed. Unfortunately, no matter how much you mold yourself to please men, to earn a sort of respect from them,they are going to view you however they see fit. Whether that be a prude or a slut - it is all the same. 

1950s Housewife Stock Image | Getty Images

I want it to be known that I am not saying to implement a lifestyle that does not suit you. There is nothing wrong with expressing yourself in a modest way, but we all need to stop putting other women down in order to look more favorable to men. Our existence as women is not defined by our purity or impurity. This culture teaches us that having qualities of innocence and sweetness is what makes us worthy women. However, you are not sweet nor virtuous for labeling other women as sluts in an attempt to make yourself look more palatable. 

You are not better than other women because you do not go out, you are not better than other women because you dress modestly, you are not better than other women because you willingly isolate yourself, and you are not better than other women because a theoretical man would pick you. So when you ask me what I am doing on Halloween, I’ll be half naked, probably kissing your “future husband.” 

Strike Out,

Melanie Torres

Miami

Melanie Torres is a writer going into her second issue with Strike Magazine Miami. She is currently studying English at Florida International University with a passion for everything whimsical. In true Gemini fashion, she is fascinated with the world around her and can be found outside photosynthesizing on a warm day. If you're interested in finding her to talk about all things film, you can reach her through through Instagram @not.ur.m4nic.pixie